Thread: Am I a "Wannabe"

There are a lot of things that can be said about a subject such as this. The first thing that comes to mine is that people look at who I tend to socialize with, how I talk, what my personal interests are, even down to what I eat, as a sign that I want to be white. I clearly know who I am, and feel that I am just me. Unfortunately people feel great about categorizing, to make it all make sense in their worlds. I don't think there is anything wrong with embracing another culture. I often ask white men why they choose to date black women, and it boils down to the spirituality, the struggle, the passion and the soul of the person and the people as a whole. I don't think that makes you a wanna be. I see it more as being open minded, and knowing what you like.

I should have made my post clearer. The "bud" I'm referring to is my black lady friend and I know she is poking fun at me. As in when I play "da gangsta" or try my immitation of a Rasta ( she's English of Jamaican heritage) she always comes out with, "you're such a wannabe". I do it as a joke and really not too often but I also find myself, when in conversation with her, following her mannerisms and speech patterns almost as if I'm trying to fit in.

As I mentioned, I am also drawn to media with black content and I find myself looking for black related issues and events to tell her about. We do talk about all kinds of things so its not solely about black culture but more and more its creeping in.

I have also recently found myself talking to my white friends about black issues too and this is totally uncharacteristic for us. I did get some weird looks.So all in all I'm wondering what my motivations really are.

I'm a bit confused these days.

Cheers,
Pict

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Originally Posted by Pict
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I should have made my post clearer. The "bud" I'm referring to is my black lady friend and I know she is poking fun at me. As in when I play "da gangsta" or try my immitation of a Rasta ( she's English of Jamaican heritage) she always comes out with, "you're such a wannabe". I do it as a joke and really not too often but I also find myself, when in conversation with her, following her mannerisms and speech patterns almost as if I'm trying to fit in.

As I mentioned, I am also drawn to media with black content and I find myself looking for black related issues and events to tell her about. We do talk about all kinds of things so its not solely about black culture but more and more its creeping in.

I have also recently found myself talking to my white friends about black issues too and this is totally uncharacteristic for us. I did get some weird looks.So all in all I'm wondering what my motivations really are.

I'm a bit confused these days.

Cheers,
Pict

It sounds like you are really excited and are really trying to impress your lady friend. There is nothing wrong with that---just do not lose yourself in your excitement. Who you are/were is what drew your friends to you. It is normal, to some degree, to mirror someone's mannerisms/gestures/language when you spend a great deal of time around that person(s) and you really respect/like that person. [I am attracted to the academic type. I find that I mirror their use of the language or some other element when I spend time with them. I catch myself sometimes but then again, at the end of the day, I learned a new word :-) ]The problem comes in when you change everything about yourself (or a great deal) to be like that person(s). I don't think that is what you are talking about here. That is extreme and this type of individual needs counseling and/or meds.

I do not see anything wrong with researching topics that are of interest to your friend. It is flattering. Shows that you are interested in her and things that may be important to her. I think that it is sweet of you to do so.

You guys sound young. The use of the words, "wannabe" and "gangsta"--although, they are not limited to the youth, are not words that I, generally, hear the older crowd use. Having stated that, youth may contribute to the confusion. Heck, who, amongst us, was not confused in his/her youth. My advice is to stay true to yourself.

You like what you like. You should never be made to feel like you have to defend that! Don't let anyone attempt to define who you are or who you should be. Heck! I am a Francophile. I love anything french: food, culture, arts, country, MEN. I love the opera and ballet. I collect Van Gogh. I prefer to travel to Europe over Africa. I am woman of African descent, and I am damn proud of it. To heck with people and their labels. I know what I like and want. If they choose to live in boxes, have at it. I prefer to live and experience life by my own rules not theirs.

You guys sound young.

Oh I love you! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Actually I'm 58 and my bud is 48 but I think I'm actually on my second childhood. As you may see in another post, I underwent open heart surgery last year ( 6 by-passes) and I see it as a rebirth, so technically I'm still in diapers ( maybe I should be or likely will be soon
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)

As my dear old grannie used to say, "Its no fun growing old" she was right but then again she made it to 96 so I guess she had the right to say it. I'm still not 100% but I'm at least as strong as I was when 40 and for the first time in 30 years can jog again so I'm on the right track.

My friendship with my black lady friend has a huge amount to do with me still being here and getting myself back to life and yeah we do act likely silly kids most of the time. Its working for me so I'm not complaining. I just wish I knew back then what I do now.

Cheers,
Pict